Remember when you were a kid and the world was laid out in front of you like a dreamy summer’s day? I recall spending hours on my family’s farm working in the garden or in the barn milking goats (yep, I can do that), daydreaming of singing on a Broadway stage and then conducting interviews about my amazing talents as an actor and singer and dancer. (News flash: just to set the record straight—I can’t dance, and though I can carry a tune, in NYC among real singers, I would be considered an amateur!) So back to daydreaming and what those dreams have to do with divorce.
Dreams have everything to do with divorce, from creating a dream team of advisors to taking the old dreams out of the closet, dusting them off and getting back to the life you dreamt of before that sneaky unhappiness crept in. They’re the things that get us to lose some lbs, start dating, pull out the resume, finally take that bucket list trip, and give us the courage to fall in love again.
Having a dream team of advisors makes the
process of separating so much easier!
Being gentle, loving and kind to yourself instead of wallowing in fear, shame and self-incriminations takes time, and having people around you to keep you going is enormously important.
A dream team
includes a top-notch attorney you can trust, a divorce coach to keep you moving towards your future, a CDFA and/or CPA to advise you on the $$s, a CFA to turn those $$s into a future where you can breathe; a hairdresser, trainer and nutritionist to get you looking your best and perhaps a matchmaker or dating coach to find Mr/s Right.
Ask yourself, “Would you start a business without a business plan, advisors and a business coach to keep you going in the right direction?” Most likely, you know the answer: “Not a chance!” So it goes with divorce… we were not meant to be alone (ever, but definitely not through this process) and your dreamy life is going to take some doing, especially if it’s not here quite yet.
Those dreams you still desire are totally worth having. Spend a little time getting to know them again. If you don’t remember your dreams or you’re afraid, create some new ones and daydream about where you want to go when the decree is signed.
Take this slowly.
Dreams are there to help make you smile. (Leaving my marriage, I embarked on singing lessons :). I hired a new CPA, a new CFA, needed coaches, mentors, training and an entirely new group of networking professionals. It isn’t always easy to take the steps into the life I want, so each step, each time I’m stuck, I find and continue to find the professionals to help me create what I want.